My God Bless you...with all happiness and love :)

I write this in respect of the one I loved the most.
Kept myself at bay waiting for her..holding it to a so called hope.
Irrespective of the result and the reality I have to face today.
There will always be the words of almighty for you..as its the only words I pray..

How could I be angry and not happy with the dream she always wanted as a reality..
I guess..to love some one indefinitely means...no matter what happens you stick with her..what ever she wants to be..
My hands shook and the beat some what missed a second..
I cried myself in, even then the words were for your dream towards so called realization..

It made me strong to be with you..
As every morning..I wake up with you..as if our love has just begun as a fresh sun..
And I realize..I have been too selfish at times...praying for togetherness of me and you..
But my GOD had some different plans..and he always wanted the best to come as your virtue..

I know the reality its not me..and nor it could ever be..
Living in a dream world of me..sleeping with you is feeling..yet I seem to be so much lonely..
Call it to be respect and love for you...never forced myself as you might feel..
Simply waited patiently hoping for a miracle..you might see me as the last man when there is no one left to be

I can't Stop thinking..of you :)

Its the walk that I miss of you..
Not the work out..but it was the time..I was with you...
For the hour I guess..
It laid back all my sadness to rest..

Its the laugh that I miss with you...
Asking me to speak..and me watching you practicing how to breathe..
Funny was the situation..
But atleast gave me the promotion of being closer to have an association..

Its the smiley I miss of you...
The way it was spelt and written..make me forget as If I was some what not in heaven..
Call it to be on demand...
But how come two simple words..make me felt..the love and your warmth..

Its the good times I miss with you..
Hope I never have to go back again..as it pains me more..please do not call me insane..
I only wanted to see you laugh and be happy..no matter if I was with you or not..
Guess..I loved you more than anything..and I cant stop thinking and describing about you..as it was never enough ...as you meant me next to my god..... 

It all starts with a SMILE of you :) my "ONE" :)

I am happy alone seeing you close to me..
Some time as a wallpaper but mostly its the truth I see..
What if we could actually work out....
Could have given me a reason and actually not a treason to quitely pullout.

Of the belief that I was not worth giving a shot..
Standing unchained...waiting for love to hold me with your cloth..
Tired to remember you again and  again..
Just making myself sure..I do not miss praying for you..trust me..it never rained..

Its simply the way..I dropped down..and trying to configure..
What was left in me..with a false hope...you might appear..
Clearing and putting my obnoxious mind to rest..
And love me more than me..that's all that I know you will do when you are at your best..

I can't rethink again...as it some what..pains me..inside to put you in that frame..
Of the dream I saw you with you...changing the terms from I to we as it hung on that window pane..
Actual picture now seems blurred to me..as my eyes are wet praying for my one..
Time and again its my belief and hope...that has answered to me saying "Don't worry..she is some one waiting waiting up there..hiding herself..only for the right time to come"....:)

And I still loveeeeee your smile :)

It does not matter what if I have torn the sheet..
Which had your name....and I saw it every day to believe..
Some how..some day it might work..
Keeping me awake from the night.....with hope..what if we were..

Obviously together forever..as our wishes always were..
Of you and me only..holding hands...getting old..and now it seems worse..
I cannot make my self to consider and believe...you are not near me..
The stupid blame game has started in the mind..cursing my destiny..

What if I could only remember the good times we had...
Perhaps it would be better than finding a reason..why it did not work out..despite the fact..it made us glad..
To be in each other's company felt like I was in some what another world of divinity..
Guess what it was not there to be..as the feeling now is seeping in facing the reality..

Of the world..of which I am actually not a part..
As the reason's may oblige ..but home come..I can trust again and convince my heart..
Obviously ..deep inside the feeling of love is still the same..
And it was only you.....with whom I felt..there could actually be no other..better to pursue..

Strange it is...

When ever you try to run away..there is always some one to catch you..
To make you feel alive, and its this feeling...of eagerness that has left me glued to you..
A sense of exhilaration...inside you..rushing in into yourself..
Expressing the emotions to the core .....from that shelf..

I guess..I will never understand the complexity of emotions..
To simple at times...but in the end its all about..explanations..
Wishing and hoping for a better world is difficult to understand..
As if you are picking some one just like your self from the DNA strand..

Why..?? perhaps is the question asked most of the time..
Its better to say..I do not want myself to be late..expressing myself through the lines..
That is were you come to my rescue..I mean my blog..
No one have actually understood me...to be true its all about clearing the air below the fog..

Some time..I have to ask my self to stop myself..to avoid getting hurt...
As it always have been the expectations that have made the condition worse..
May be..it not good to expect..but how could I have allowed this feeling to seep in..
And I have always loved you from my heart..Till there is last breath left in me.. I only wish and hope that some how it finally begin.. 

A new Meaning..

Don't know..what to write..
As almost and every time..I know..I recite..
My so called agony and pain..
To be true..its the perception that has all the more to be blamed..

Behind  the background...the music is a bit different...
Call it be..monotonous..but its inconsistent..
The so called lines and the rhymes some how....and lost the fragrance and the meaning..
Am I so much in secure..about my inside feeling..

And some how..I always tend to be cautious..not to exaggerate my emotions..
But I know..what I try..in the end..it happens to be only false notions..
Of the so called explanations..and the plea of consideration..
As if nothing happened between us..and it was...as if..only persuasions..

I have nothing more to day...than to perceive...
What I see of you..in me.. that always make me believe..
Some day..you will come back to see..
There is a man standing still..who only wishes you to be with me...

Moving..dragging myself..unsuccessfully....

I tired so hard to forget you...
But its the smile that always makes me think of you :)
So called with a missing nose..
All I wanted and waited was actually to propose..

Else never got a chance to say those words..
Don't understand some how..where every time my rhyme actually goes..
Words are now all together made to repeat..
I have no words to describe me..rather than calling me decimated....else I would have rejoiced on my feet..

Is it the respect that has made me so much weak..
Or is it the fact I know as usual you will be reading this..keeping mum..making me guilty of my defeat..
I loved you more than any thing else..and even cried some time likea hell..
My happiness actually knew no bounds..but it was cut short..and that's when I fell..

From the virtue to the virtual world of mine..
I still see you...even when my eyes...are wet..and ask me "Is loving you was a crime ??"
Or the people might ask...how come you love and like some one...in short span..
The words I say....."She is the one" I have been missing every day...as it..my life was without a fan..

Need not have to convince any one to believe what I say..
Its the choice you and I make....says all...from this day to that day..
I might overshoot the emotions out of my head..
But the thing is..I had no one who was so much in me...like my destiny..

I am sorry :(

Started with a "HOPE" for my one :)

Will I be able to forget the need ...of having some one..
Guess what..am I expecting too much..and is it life making my fun ?
For the unasked questions and so called obvious answers..
Never really like them.... and just running behind my past..that's it..

Obvious reason is to stay..a float..
Never really know..am I the sea or..simply travelling in some body's else boat...
Most of the time ..I believe I am made a scrape goat...
Its true..as it some time...the silly thoughts inside..made me look worse..

I tried to get the feeling out of me...but failed miserably..
As all the stories relate to you...even in red..I wonder why I still like blue..
It was all much very obvious to predict my end..
May be its the past that has haunted me..at the corner of that bend..

What ever..I try to write and explain...
And I know nothing will come out without saying you or me as insane..
The best may be..I should live like this feeling you up as my force..
Its a thin ray of hope..that reminds me..the doors up there are still not closed..

Its like...

Its like..I have never laughed so much..
For whatever numerous reasons as it may sound like a buzz..
And I look at myself..standing up there..
Stuck on the "ONE"...looking up in despair..

No its not the correct rhyme..
And may be its also not about the time..
Forget about the days ahead....
Felt like...as if there has not been a bigger threat..

Repeat it may seem..to me..
Questions are all but the same..but the actual blame is on the destiny..
Patience and the persistence going out for toss..
Feels like...its all the but more..like a floss..

With no time to look back and analyse..
Am , I the stupid one..waiting to see those eyes..
The answer is ..to sublime...
That is why I am Quietly waiting for my own time...