I can't...

Not able to express and say...what I actually want myself to narrate..
Words are not enough to weigh my emptiness that you left me to hate..
Tried and lost a lot many times to keep myself way from my fate..
But every time I want to see you...I am greeted by that close gate..

Which has shown me the reality of my forgotten days..
I tried to find myself after that..but it seems I am still stuck with not one to help me in that maze..
With the faith and hope now sounding as a lost dream to my destination to you..
Despite the truth ....somehow not able to digest my blood as a food..

Lost and found is the part of life..if only I could have realized...
Not to have missed you ..and let go away from my eyes..
That at present living in a dream world seems to be the only way out from this phase..
Its the memories I cherish ....and cannot control myself to look back..remembering the good old days..

If I could hear the  " I Can't" aloud in my ear..
Trust me that would have been much more than sufficient to make me disappear..
Its the lie that I want to tell you....that I have forgotten you and moved on..
Perception might be true..but in reality..I still wait on that path...hope you can see me..standing on that road..

Emotionally freak ....call me to be weak..

I can see you laugh at me.....saying to be..."you are mad".
To be honest..I accept the feedback...only asking you ..how can you arrive at this fact..
Is it my inability to express my state of distress to you..
And you thinking that my words...describe me...still stuck in my blues..

You cannot be wrong all the time.....and I appreciate those lines..
But even though..giving me the courage to move on..I expected a better design..
Of the consolation prize you have handed over to me...by pasting me as a good man..
If that was the case..why not you ??....and you actually left me for some to claim me as an obligation..

Definitely an explanation was and is due.....but forget it..as it will never change what we have as our dues..
Could give me a reason to improve...after all....its just mere a silly "expression"  to diffuse..
My present state of mind..in order to align myself...
You might feel..I am living off...and passing my life still living on that shelf..

Never mind..I always have given my best to make you feel comfortable..
Even if..I might not have been actually stable..
That feeling is slowly fading away..
Don't know why you always come again knocking at my door...come again lets play..

The Blogger boy say's sorry but not thank you :-)

Nevertheless what has happened and what will happen..I say thank you..
For making me what I actually am....would not have been possible ..and I accept the truth..
There has been many instances that I quote to make myself believe..
I can come out of any situation ...and its not the help I always seek..

Its very easy to make a layout of an object..
But too difficult unless you crack and grind it multiple times till you know what you actually it to get..
At times its and easy pass for the so called acceptance criteria..
Frankly speaking ..I have never really set the limit..which is actually a hysteria..

The value is never really realized ..unless you weigh the tears in your eyes..
Which certainly come along..but expecting a rain to hide them behind your lies..
So easy to move on and expect some thing more from our life..
What if..its you only who I actually wanted as my wife.

I mean..its so sad and depressing at times..narrating myself on the blog as a broadcast..
Wish is,  it would have not happened if I would have found my "ONE" at last..
Yes, you are true I am stuck on my past to inspire my emotions to come out with my lines..
But its easy to say...and you also know its hard to lock the heart deep inside those mines..

Some how I always come back to you :-)

Despite the fact...I am have had no success..with my "one"...
Don't know why I still believe ...some day for me it will begun..
When the mornings will actually be greeted with  a smile..
Expressing the love what I actually have in my eyes..

You would also now consider me obnoxious..
Trust me..I have actually never been much more than describing me to be anxious.
Forget it...I mean of me and my so called explanation of not being with you.
You always have had an option of coming back to me..after reading my blog with the so called sad news..

How could you never even bothered to call..not replying my messages..
As I lay down there with a never ending hope...counting the day's as if it has been ages..
Every day its a mixed bag of emotions that come to play..
Some saying let it go..to be true..it easy to say..but to hard to pray..

Still , I want you more than anything else in my life..
Never really know..when I will be able to see your face..as to me it a precious prize..
For which I have had my share of long never ending wait..
I wish and pray to say it to you....lets meet and make it a memorable day..