Thank you.

Thank you.

Today's song....Only for "HER"..and the TRUTH..on my WALL...

"John Meyer - Say what you need to say"..

Yesterday's discussion was a bit wild,
And I have not done my net practice for a while,
Just waiting patiently for the cancellation of the options,
To convince them its not a "option" but the "ONLY REASON"..

Its simply too hard to let it go,
All you can associate it with "SANJOG".
Probably we are hiding behind the word to accept the defeat,
I will not bug down achieving my "FEAST".

Having the freedom to make them go down the wish lane of mine,
Do not want them to think its not their way, and it will not shine.
It ended up with consideration of going  ahead with "MY WISH",
Its all they said, after hearing my plea to have my "DISH"..

"Not the END"
Picture abhi baaki hai..


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Want you to know about what happened to me last year in March,
I was in a hospital for a week , please do not ask.
All the tests were done to find the increase of heart beat,
AIIMS, PGI every one said , they could not figure out the reason for this heat.

Changing the life style was all they could advice,
Even after 7 day observation of the heart beat could not figure out.
Only option was to change the job from the after market to a semi plant one,
I still do not know the reason behind this one.

During dehradun visit I met "KARNAIL SINGH".
a war veteran of 99' who helped me its not done,
I told him that I do not know what will happen next,
He was the only one who said, leave it to him..Its just a test.

Not a explanation to console my position or a "MADE EXPLANATION",
Its the truth I wanted to say it to you during the conversation.
I or else we will be coming for you,
I am not having the day when it will end my blues..

Why I am Posting it on the net is because of the truth I wanted to tell you,
Please do not find a reason that I have "GIVEN up".
I only have the truth for you and nothing else.
Words will be few and if only emotions could do...

Thank you.
Blogger boy.
S******k..
Many more names..

My Atonement..for making her "CRY"..for "HURTING" her..and many more..

One of the best things that I could have ever done for her is " I do not know".  Every day at night I just pray to him ,to keep her happy. For me, I am going through my ATONEMENT phase of saying sorry to every person I meet in a day..Bit awkward..but as I did not got a chance to say this to you..Now perhaps you are an addition to the list who think I am mad ..No no... you are right..Ankur, Uday and every one thinks the same..The most unrealistic things done in most unrealistic ways by me..off course..Die hard believer of Saathiya..the ring tone says it all...Today's morning start was with a "LOVE SONG"...SAVAGE Garden..."I will be your wish, I will be your dream"...and Half of the metro saw me singing and burst into laughter..Then I realized it was way too much..Any way..I was imagining you..Eyes were closed and ears too..

Today' s SORRY was to a OWNER of a KULCHA Wala..who was class 10th passed in Hindi Medium.. had a beautiful lunch on the RING road with him..Cracked 3 jokes to make him open..and heard his story..Said sorry to him..and to "HER..MY SHE"...why so..As I told its my atonement for her..I did not want to hurt her in any way or in any sense..It was purely and simply un intentional..I am Sorry for that and apologies.. 

The best words came from the old man.."DHANYAWAD ...BABAJI WAHEGURU"..He was able to understand my need, though I have not spoken to him about this..and "BABAJi" by my beard..When I actually told him my age..he said..."KYUN MAZAAK KARTE HO?"...I know why people say me uncle jee..Thek hai..chalta hai..I guess I got a new name..He was then busy reading his hindi newspaper..Then I realized we are actually lucky to be born like this..and we simply take this for granted. 

Sharing a joke with a OWNER "KULCHA WALA"..He had a POLIO in his leg..and could barely stand...See the cousing in red..leaning down for the joke..

Finally the Old man smiled..and greeted with a "MIRCHI" ka aachaar..which I could not say "NO"..As it was gift from the humble man I have met..I might have hurt many people along my journey..Just want to say sorry to all of you..and to "SHE"..I still do..and will keep on doing this just to clean my guilt of hurting you..

I forgot my poem for you.

The song that played this morning was for you,
Smile for me..it looks great on you..
Your 2 second pause when I asked you your number was acknowledged,
I now you did not have had any reason in the mind to say "Dude I am In my College"..

That instance still reminds me of my friday,
Hell was at loose and I could not figure it out..was it a dry day ?
I am having the same pasted on the notepad on my desktop,
Just to remind me every time, I have done wrong right from the start spot.

To me somethings are worth waiting for,
Every day I remind my self, its the patience that I am being taught for.
With no "IF's" and "BUT's" attached..I only have to say this.
You were, you are and you will be only "THE ONE" for me "MY MISS"..

Trust me..with Patience of "NINE YARDS" this time....

My call..

I can't control my self after seeing you like this,
You definitely would not have expected this it to happen like this.
The feet trembled and the eye's could not connect..
But it was the only thing, that I could do at my best.

I am sorry, it must have a frightening effect,
And your thinking about me could have easily changed to this fact.
Coming un announced does some time sound foolish to me.
And I did not have your number to seek permission from my "SHE"..

The reservation and hesitation is the only word I am able to understand,
Its nice that you need a proof before holding some one's hand.
I am only asking for a chance to clarify,
And I am not going to vanish any time from your sight...

Find..Finding and Found...."MY" Happiness....

I dream of my "Jennie" to surprise me with her wand,
And I am sorry to ignore you, but please do not put me in the sand.
Even I know some magic tricks to keep you on your toes,
There is a storm coming , so just be careful from the door..

Watch you back, I may be standing there adoring you,
Please don't turn, and you may spoil my brilliant view.
The way you hair comes on your face is like, I cannot describe the preview.
And that "PECULIAR" bindi of yours completes the view.

If you can't get out, then get in complete my friend,
Ever Anxious to see whats up is in the store, at that bend.
Some time I laugh at me, what's all this about ??
I say that to me..do not have a "DOUBT "..

Love is like a food, and it takes time to digest,
Best exercise is to keep walking, till nothing is left..
Faster you do faster are the results,
Simple..all you have to do is Just keep breathing and hold the "PULSE"..

WELL BEGUN IS HALF DONE........

Fragrance Lost.& I have actually "WORSHIPED MY ONE"..And still do.

Some of the recent blogs have become an online diary entry for me..Not because of the context or the thought behind it, but of the reason they were written on my day to day activity..Some thing sort of a live telecast to narrate it to some one..I hope that some one , who is the one is actually listening..I do not have anything to offer to anyone, and feels helpless to some extent as of this..The patience and persistence being challenged again..How did I actually land up in this situation..Clueless..Guess the first song that played in my today's drive .."BRYAN ADAM's"..The time I try to keep it behind , it comes back again with a smile on my face ..Which is invisible though..But I cherish the moments..all of them..and I am still able to take count of the dates..

The blog though has lost his fragrance and not the perfume..Its similar to a body without a soul...The idea to keep it fresh has been lost..

One of the best "PURE" juice I had..And the cleanliness was top notch.

Separate bins to collect the waste from the juice machine, the washing of glass done with a pipe connected to the drain..Thus preventing water from flowing outside.

Its in the blood, in me and my destiny,
Who else , but my "she"..
May be I do not want the time to move on,
Just preserving the essence for the life long..

I will be staying like this for the years to come, writing about her,
I have never been this close to the one, and do not know if we ever were..
To me the moon still means your face,
Actually I have never ever seen it enough to praise..

With my eyes closed I see you up so close and near,
I can live with this moment through out my life without any fear..
Call it obnoxious behavior at its level best,
And I can live with this all my life long with an inner zest..  

Holding my hand is me....and my GUILT..

It felt very strange to see to see my hands today,
Not like usual one's for the day.
Bit small due to the fear inside,
Yes ..I admit there is no one by my side..

As I watched the empty faces while I walk,
Holding hands are the one's who are not apart..
You see the eyes in the reflection, bit drenched in pain,
And avoid its (tear) fall in the public, but as soon as its dark it comes as if its a rain..

Does it reflect you are weak, or too emotional as you speak,
The voice some time looses it strength, when you are at a peak..
I am Simply trying to get the "One" to speak,
To start a conversation , have some association but please take me out from this isolation.

Perhaps its the way I worship "THE ONE"  as God,
A sorry or a apology will not do, as something much more is due..
Just a prayer from my heart, for the one,
Please grant the wish she has for her loved one, and do not keep them (She and her love) apart..

Its the only way to clear my heart of the guilt,
Take anything from me, Oh GOD please give her the one she has always wanted to be..

If I could have my "DESTINY"..

If I could have my destiny,
It would be only you and me.
For the first time in my life, its difficult to digest the fact that I am mute,
Only for the force that can't be explained, and to me you are cute.

Digest, inhale, exhale what every you, it ultimately shows on your face,
and yes my friend you look pale.
Cannot be explained , or can be put into words directly,
Hard to clear the mind, that too to efficiently.

Only promise , I could do is to wait and watch for the time,
Why not now ??
I am sorry, the few words , and will not able to do the justice,
for what "WE" shared all through..

Where it started...."Thoda sa Pyar"..

Standing in front of me is again me,
The improved version is probably the better than the current version of GLEE..
The sun today soaked me in in its sweat,
Felt nice that I can also actually get wet.

We are all human's and at times complex as a DNA strand to understand,
Not testing my biology skills, just correlating my mind to the signs.
It was and , its the time to simplify the equations without variables,
Yes the times are testing, so just putting all of them on tables.

Each and every thing happens for a reason (Hoobastank song, - The reason is you),
Its not a treason , also not in any season ..and there is also no reason.
A half heart , perhaps not..The idea behind is I cannot leave it to rot.
Why going slow, only to make sure it slowly grows.

What is right and what is wrong, I cannot explain in my song..
Its the way unknown , And I myself do not know whats up is next thrown..
CAN I or WILL I be able to pull this off ?? Is the questions I ask me every time..
He ( Is my FAITH on HIM) says "TRUST ME"..."RESPECT IT"..and do not worry , its just a "TIME LAG"....