Friday, August 31, 2012

My last post..I have stopped writing..Reason..I have hurt the one who has "TRUSTED ME completely"..

I do not have adjectives and words for this one..I wanted to have "she" in my life..I messaged her and went away from facebook..She replied to me after some days about my blog..I was happy to have found the one..Then I wrote about her..and asked her plenty of questions to know her..Asked my father for help.which they did as I am being their son..I have not had a good past in the relations and have had difficulty in coping with them..Ask Ankur, uday and More importantly Tiny didi..This one is the promise to you three..I will not leave anything un turned to set it right.

I am the one who have disturbed the life of an innocent person, who was more than just happy in her own world.. Just to have "MY" dream of something I have ruined it..I am not a good person to be with..actually selfish one..Irrespective of the fact considering the plight and condition of other person..I have used such words for her..who "ONLY" and "ONLY" by trusting me have had the will to take first step..And I have let her down in every word or sense I can..Call it in a blog..or within myself..I am the man who pursued HIS own dream of having the one..I have taken it to be a "THING"..rather then nurturing it with dignity and respect and I have blasted it completely..

I am sorry to have let all of you down..I have had started the blog for the one to be closer to it..But it ended up being my "DUSTBIN" of ideas to be dumped.. Irrespective of the fact of taking the plight of other person into consideration. I have hurt many people knowingly and un knowingly with the language and words used in any point of time..Its like Putting an idea in some person's mind..asking her to be on a boat..and then abandon it in the middle of the sea..I hate myself for have had been actually done like this..Reason.."PATIENCE"..what words people speak about me are true..My father says me to have patience..my sis..tiny didi...ankur..uday..and you..Yes there is a problem in me..I get excited to early and then get demoralized to easily..Most of the closed one's have left on me as of this..My school friends do not talk to me as of this..My college mates are only 2 to 3..I have no office colleagues..My be as of this..May be I am wrong..happy with my blog..or is it my "SO called assumption"..that I am happy with it..truly speaking I am not..I walked 30 minutes from metro station to depot just to see the building..and then going back again..

I know going to a gurdwara will not help..I know the ardass will not help..I know seeking an apology from any one of you will not help..I only want to see the one happy in every sense I have had made her sad..and Just a wish to god..If you are there.you are free to do anything to me..to make the one happy..and turn her like she was..she is a better person than me...she has actually "TRUSTED " me...knowing the fact how I am ..means how "I am"..I may not have the courage to write the bog again after reading her mind in the blog...I have her blog open infront of me..The words are like a slap to my face..and yes I deserve this..She has trusted me going all the way by opening her heart all along..and what did I give it to her..My "BAD words"..BAD means worse..I could do ...Only a request..I know you do not like me..I know..you do not have trust on me..I know you do not want to talk to me..I know with every word of yours it killed me like any thing..My didi stopped talking to me..My friends said you are wrong..My sister said you have hurt an innocent one..All of them could not be wrong.including you..And I am wrong..I could not realize what sharing a song meant..I never realized what sharing out the heart meant..I never realized what the girl wanted to say..I never realized what she actually conveyed..I never realized what she wanted to say..

Only me being an impatient person has given me and shown the door out..from my self respect..

I admit I am a wrong person..I also know I have no way to set it right..
All I am asking is for 1 chance..to set it right..

1 comment:

  1. U hv all d ways 2 set it right.. I bet u will do 2.. U need to understand 1 more thing that u r not wrong.. U r our dillu.. Its just a mistake.. And i know that ur repent will do better for u n her in life..

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